Life is a spiral...

I've been thinking about writing a book, which book is always the question.  My experiences in MKUltra? The V (vee) Series?  One and the same?  Yes.  Just do it.  almost 8 years has passed by and I still can't decide whether or not to write about my dark story!

 Just now I ran across an old email that I had written to myself:

May 30, 2010

i woke up falling

the sensation and urgency are rapidly fading into the aethers as sleep fades and my waking state takes over.  all i can say is that i felt sheer terror like i haven't felt in a very long time, since 1991.

triggers:  al b. contacting me,  eft'ing for a change in my relationship with money, my mom's situation.  

why is al a 'trigger'?  perhaps it is because one of my last real memories of him/us as a couple was when we were at dinner and i was explaining what was happening to me as my memories of my father molesting me while i was still an infant were surfacing and i was working through them. the horror on his face.  the disbelief, the doubt, the comment that either i was crazy or he was for being with me.  that was the end of it for me.  

yesterday i woke up feeling as though i needed to do some EFT and to turn my magnetic field back upright.  i did that, with my focus on finances because it seems that, once again, i am repelling rather than attracting.  that stress alone, that stress that i have been experiencing about finances all of these years, is enough to kill me. that's the way it feels anyway.    i thought that i had that under control: the depressions that would descend on me when my bank account was empty.  i thought i had conquered that.

and the stress of waking up with that sinking, falling feeling of being out of control and of having failed my mother in that i can't take care of her.  she hates being where she is. but then i have to remember that she has hated where she lived since the vineyard apartments, when the bitch moved in upstairs.  that was when her nightmares began, and i wasn't the cause of them.  and i absolutely can not take care of her. it isn't that i don't want to. i am incapable. and my son hates me for it. he is unforgiving that i am not able to take my mother into my tiny little home and take care of her. how can pieces, fragments, take care of another person?  

so there i am, dealing with those three stresses, barely holding myself together, when memories of machines and electricity and PAIN and TERROR and HORROR begin to become very, very real...  i am transported back in time to the day i was born. the day i was born and the torture began. the splitting of kimrey into a zillion fragments. a zillion broken, shattered, TERRIFIED fragments.  each one with a word tucked into it, a word placed there to prevent any healing ever.  trigger words.  everyday words. words that when i hear them or think them cause me to be unable to piece myself back together.  i am a puzzle.  and up until these past couple of days i thought that i had been completed.  that my days of being a jumble of pieces were in the past. 

i am beginning to see their eyes. the eyes of the monsters who would do such a thing to another human, a newborn baby all innocent and trusting and LOVE...?  eyes above hospital masks.  under hospital caps.  wicked eyes that find pleasure and are curious in the effects that this torture and that torture would have on someone else, other than themselves.  to what purpose?  [what's that movie?  not the montauk man... damnit. i have always known the name of that movie and now i can't find it in my thoughts. anywhere.  but, i digress...]

do i have to look into their eyes to find my healing?  i hope not. how could i look into their souls. that would be like looking into hell. maybe i have to go there to find the key.  i have no idea how to fix this. it's just this lifetime, it's just this embodiment,  it is only kimrey that is shattered, not my Spirit.  how can my Spirit heal my fractured, broken vessel?

so this morning i am falling and shattering and i am remembering what was done to me,  things that very few people on this planet would believe happened to me. but they did. i know that they did. i can feel them in my very cells. my cellular memory is full of them. and my cells remember everything.  we are supposed to be all new cells, but i think that the memories are in my being so deeply that the new cells remember as vividly as if it had just happened.  i can't face them.  i can't talk to anyone about this. that's the loneliest feeling.  i have my wonderful husband. he knows. he believes, he understands. he is my rock and he is shattered as well.  lol.  that's the irony.  

so, how do the two of us heal ourselves and put our life on the right track?  it has to be done.  we have been living here in limbo far too long. sitting here spinning wheels.  wheels that produce just enough forward movement to keep us from sinking.  but we are sinking and neither of us knows how to fix the leak in the boat.  we are both the same side of the coin. how do we find ourselves, and regain our balance?  pull ourselves up out of this mire?  is it simply depression?  or is the depression caused by something unfix-able?  

i don't know. i have no answers.  perhaps i can find them at my center.

Being grateful]

I am so grateful that my computer is working again!!   The day after I reactivated this blog, it informed me that my C drive was full.  Blockage overcome!!!

Yesterday I woke up in the morning and whereas most of the time I catch myself leaning towards my old habit of feeling fear and thinking of all of the things in my life that aren't full of happiness and joy, for example;  where is that extra money going to come from this month in order for me to be able to stay ahead of my bills and still be able to eat?!?!  Which always works out for me, somehow... for the past 40 years even, so far so good.  Why do I stress, then?  HABIT.  I've got those neuropathways down pat!  But, I digress!!  The thing is, I woke up yesterday thinking about how grateful I was to be breathing, to be awakening for another day, another chance to make a difference in the world, even if it is just my world for the moment.  The remainder of the day, and today as well, I have been noticing the topic of Gratitude everywhere, in my email, on my social media sites, in my own thinking... perhaps the fact that it is Thanksgiving tomorrow has something to do with it of course, but I was happy to spend this time in gratitude. 

Today is now Sunday, November 26th and I never posted my day-before-Thanksgiving post because I started typing on more topics than just what I decided to post  above. 

Learning to stay on topic seems to be something I need to do. 

I am a work in progress ;)

Gold Meditation - An Energy Exercise

from the OPPT

TEC - Unit 16 - The Creator's Still White Magnetic Light

Welcome to the New Earth 2013

It's a new day, a new dawn...   we have worked so hard as Lightworkers to get the planet and all thereon to this point and it is done.  great job one and all!!  even if you weren't conscious of your input, if you are here, you are part of the solution!

WELCOME

i am posting here more as an exercise in journal-ling than as a blogger... a blogger i am not.

i, kimrey,  am unsure as to what direction I AM going to choose next...  i seem to be afloat in a sea of endless possibilities and find myself wondering what Path to walk now.

without the crystalline grid, the ley lines, the 'power points', without sacred geometry and the archangels (both of which/whom i have never truly felt comfortable with, my intuition bristling with doubt as to their legitimacy,  same with channeled information whether it be from the arcturians or the pleiadians... or cobra )
i feel as though i have been cut free from the cords that bind but have no idea where to go next.  i suppose that i am at the point where i am integrating these concepts and i always feel so discombobulated during those times.  

I AM ALL THERE IS,  I AM RISHI,  I AM LOVE.... all this I KNOW.  kimrey is the aspect of ME here incarnate, she is here for me to walk the Earth as my RISHI Self.  kimrey has no idea what that means just yet,  being Rishi,  but she knows that this is why she is here.


I welcome you to my New Earth although it is in its infancy,  just a seed in the imagination of kimrey.

this New Earth,  Gaia/Sophia incarnate, awake and aware,  is Paradise, Heaven on Earth.  how we transition from where we are into our Awakened Selves,  that is the gift that is unwrapping now.  from homo-sapien into homo-luminous,  hue-manity arises, remembers who they are... i, kimrey, look forward to Being who i truly am.  for now, i must remain content to sit back and watch the unfolding.  not an easy task for me.  especially since i really do know who I AM and just want to get on with it!!!   like being a child awaiting her birthday...   or a child asking the eternal question, "are we there yet? are we there yet?"     come on, Rishi Self, integrate fully,  i am willing!

my question to my Rishi Self:  do i remain with Children of the Sun???   if not, then what, where do i belong?

 ah, kimrey.  just BE.

my key word for manifestation and intention in 2013 is FREEDOM and all that implies.



 have a BLESSED new year!

The Countdown - Day 2 12/12 by 5D Media Network | Blog Talk Radio

The Countdown - Day 2 12/12 by 5D Media Network | Blog Talk Radio

the end of the world as we know it....

i woke up today and sent my husband miles away with a neighbor/friend to have his bicep reattached to his arm.  fun stuff.  the storm seems to have held itself at bay, this is a good thing.

for the past 12 weeks i have been participating in a group meditation series done by The Children of the Sun Humanitarian Foundation.  i joined them (not much of a joiner and had serious second thoughts, but my Higher Self insisted.  i tend to listen to my HS).  the Rites of Passage  have been a wonderful tool for me to switch my focus from the 3D world to the "New Earth 5D and beyond" Reality. i have thoroughly enjoyed my time with this group of people looking to become all they were created to be.

  today i decided it was time to do the final Initiation entitled The Crowning, this Rite of Passage is to be done any time this week, i had originally thought i would wait until 12/21/12, the day being celebrated as the Grand Alignment.

http://www.childrenofthesun.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=502&Itemid=258

yesterday i was perusing my Facebook newspage when i ran across a video by George Kavassilas that he had posted on 12/15/12 on his youtube page:

i have to say that i agree with him.  i have never liked the flower of life, the merkaba,  aliens or ascended masters coming to assist us in our transformation.. WE are the ones we have been waiting for. we do not need, and Planet Earth does not need, any assistance in our remembering who we are, we have to find our own way or it may not be our truth.  we are all there is.  WE ARE GOD.  we are the I AM.  I AM ALL THERE IS.

we use geometry to ground ourselves into the 3D, why would we use it to free ourselves from it, to become multidimensional??  we wouldn't.  that would be the false light agenda. keeping us in the matrix via the grid, the flower of life, the merkaba...

i feel that it is important to note that my dogs have been acting strangely all day. one of my neighbors even called to ask what was going on with them.  and we all know that animals sense things.  our cat, ophelia, who has just now (14 years later) finally forgiven me for trying to give her away when she was a kitten but hasn't warmed up to me, was laying with me while i tried to take my nap this afternoon.  yes, the animals are acting strangely.

just prior to doing the Rite of Passage, The Crowning, i decided to check out The Oracle Report for the day:

Monday, December 17, 2012

Crescent Moon Phase - Moon in Aquarius
From our perspective here on Earth, the Sun appears to conjunct or align with the Galactic Center today (italics mine) at 26 Sagittarius 22.  The Sabian symbol for this degree is the sculptor's vision taking form.  Of course, the real question is what do you think the Galactic Center is?  Friend or foe?  But perhaps the even-better question is what do you think the Earth is?  Everyone is peering out "there" in space, but what if the real party was right here on Earth?  Would there be less fear going on in the collective?  I think so because the answer to all questions of this sort is grounding down with the Earth.  Keeping your feet on the ground feels a lot better.  Keeping it real by connecting with what's really important - not some image of what most people think is important - is much more merry and bright.  Fears are being heavily triggered right now, but there is no need for it.  We can choose to fall back in love with life (and with living!) or choose to think about the end of life (death) but how about a little of both?  How about the death of things that involve power and control combined with a love of things that involve beauty and freedom?  The Sabian symbol is the sculptor's vision taking form.  What do you envision?

http://oraclereport.com/

i didn't really give it much thought at the time, except to note the confirmation of my own beliefs... nothing new here :D

if you have read this far, thank  you :D  i am actually making a point here.  i did the meditation and, sure enough, just as george kavassilas was pointing out, there they were, asking me to give over my power.  sure, it was said in pretty love and light words,  but they were asking everyone to come to the throne of mother father god and pledge our selves in service to the divine will.  but who's divine will?  I AM ALL THERE IS so why would i be kneeling before the throne of another being? would that not be handing over my power??

george had said, and i have thought this many times myself, that the false light groups who are seeking to prevent us from awakening to our remembrance of who we are,  I AM ALL THERE IS, God*Seed*Dess, by convincing us that we need their help and that they are the light, just here to help us.

so, as all of these people come to the throne of mother father god, an entity subtly outside of themselves, i realized that since i know that I AM GOD, i chose to set them all free.  I AM FREE (i can only set myself free, after all, but if I AM ALL THERE IS then what i do for myself i do for all)  I AM FREE.  Free from the need for a merkaba, free from systems, free from assistance, free from new earth governments (as some entities have suggested they are here to help us to set up for our golden age).  this is the resurrection. all set free!

golden age?  but aren't we leaving time?  i don't know, just asking...  i am still evolving, but i know who I AM and that's my starting point.

then i realized that the crystalline grid that we have been working on all of these years and the 'master crystals' placed within earth by the lemurians and the atlantians to be activated, all of the power places on the grid,  they are all just more geometric forms and points that keep us bound in the lower dimensions, at least until we are free from them and then they will be used as our tools for creating our new experiences, but until we are all FULLY AWAKE and in our I AM CONSCIOUSNESS we can easily be trapped by shapes and geometries and ideas of someone else coming to save us or assist us in our transformation.  does a butterfly need the bees to assist her in her emergence?  no. and neither do we.  we are all there is. we are the thinkers, the imaginators of our experiences, we do not need anything outside of ourselves.  The Kingdom of God is within us!

as i contemplated this, during my meditation,  the crystalline grid  shattered, and all of the light that was creating the lines and points was set free to dance and fly ... the Earth is now surrounded by light that is free, not structured.  the Earth is now free of that net, as she desires to be free to evolve and grow.  i know because the Earth and I are one,   I AM The Thinker of The First Thought! I AM ALL THERE IS.
I AM THE EARTH, THE SUN, THE GALAXY and THE GREAT CENTRAL SUN!!  it is all contained within my own heart, within my own ANU and all that i see outside of myself is merely a reflection of what is within.  no light comes from outside of myself for I AM ALL THERE IS. and so are you.

the end of the world, the end of time...  the transformation of homo-sapien into HOMO*LUMINOUS occurred TODAY. IT IS DONE.  the false light can have its big party this coming week,  but it has already been transformed and freed from its own agenda.

i have popcorn, and i am sitting back now to watch how this all unfolds.  it's just like opening a present!!!

I AM LOVE and I LOVE YOU!!  BE FREE!  Είμαι ελεύθερος (eimai eleutheros)     I AM FREE

here are two excellent videos on the ANU,  which is, i believe, in our hearts (and within each and every quantum, which are the smallest conscious beings known). and it expands outwards into our magnetic field, our torus, and out of our torus, as we turn our hearts inside out, comes LOVE and that is all there is.  the way we serve creation is to give and be love.  love is all there is!!  light is love expressed. we are love expressed. we are light.  BE.

and this last video,  a more 'scientific' approach to what we may be experiencing right now.  it didn't seem like an hour + when i watched it!  enjoy!!

thank you.  i love you.

I AM Dancing with Dragon & Phoenix

welcome to my youtube channel

Kymatica

other side of the pendulum...

the music may not be excellent, imho, but i got a kick out of the premise :)

Defining our Belief System

From: Starhenge
(myspace)
To: kimrey, dances with Dragon & Phoenix
Date: Mar 16, 2009 9:03 AM
Subject:

Defining our Belief System From: Lightworker

We are in an age of enlightenment where part of the evolutionary challenge is to uncover and discover the hidden programs that have kept us locked into a core of belief systems that are old and outdated.

It is the core of a base program called belief systems that operates on the subconscious levels of human identity.

In the past, those who chose to speak out against the suggested programming were immediately removed from the major population, incarcerated within jails, institutions or given “healing drugs”. There is a core of operational programs that has been programmed into the human psyche and way of life, a core of programs that ultimately dis-empowers individuality. These operational programs are what “programs” society to act and function in certain ways.

From a very early age we are programmed how to talk, act and obey. We are taught to view our world and define ourselves in a certain way in order to be acceptable, functional and “normal” within our cultural boundaries. It is the base system from which society revolves its belief system around.

Within that complex network of ideologies forms the system of core beliefs. The majority of people operate within this base program of culturally mandated beliefs. These core belief systems consciously effect the mental, emotional and physical systems, which prevents each person from owning their inner power.

People have been led to follow subconscious programs that dis-empower rather than empower. Programs that separate us from each other and have us competing for limited rewards. Through the media, newspapers and television broadcasts, we have been fed attitudes and subtle suggestions that we live in a cold and dangerous world. Through this repetition and reinforcement of negative programming we have been trained to believe that we must always have more, that we never have enough, that we are not pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, fast enough, powerful enough, wealthy enough or good enough. We are trained to doubt the self, fear the self, punish the self and to place our truth in authorities that exist outside of ourselves. We are taught to negate, fear, devalue, disown and discredit intuitive perception and knowledge.

In our present day “Reality Program” we are trained from infancy to disown the self, trained to obey outside authority, trained to project our personal power outward, to other people or circumstances.

From infancy we are trained to accept the perceptions of others as being more valid than our own. This training invalidates our levels of perception and closes down our gifts as divine beings of light. As children, we are directed into schools that squelch creativity and personal identity. We are taught to obey and follow the rules. As adults, we enter into the economic structure that further programs us to obey the authorities, work for others and allow others to benefit in unfair proportions from the investments of our hard earned energies and labor.

We are taught to survive by pleasing others (because they hold our power) or to fight our way through the system (to forcibly claim our power). Sacrifice the self, serve others, work hard, make more, buy more and need more. To compete, produce and battle for existence. This base program has trained us to close our minds, and to fear, judge and condemn the many ideas and technologies that would heal us and set us free. We are constantly programmed to believe that what is on the outside is more important than what is on the inside and we are continually distracted with the “more important” external aspects of physical survival.

We have been programmed to create disease in our bodies and minds, because no one has ever told us that we hold the power to change the programs and make better, healthier idea choices. No one has ever told us that our thoughts create reality. And who benefits from this base program that we have been led to believe in. The Government, the Religions, the doctors and the bureaucracies??

For the sake of human evolution let us look at the base program of our belief system.

Does it nurture human potential or does it limit its possibilities? Does it promote brotherhood and harmony or does it create separation, segregation and power struggles? Does it allow us to love and honor ourselves and others or does it cause hatred, judgment, denial and unworthiness? Does it teach respect for all of life? Does it teach humanity to trust and have faith? [and in what? k] Or does it cause states of suspicion, the need for protection, and fear to arise within the heart. Does it teach love for ourselves, our bodies and others, or does it teach us to judge and condemn? Does it teach us to work cooperatively in co-creation with others or to separate ourselves from others and to compete for trivial material rewards? [i believe in individual power and that sentence annoys me, but that's just me. co-creativity and cooperation, in my way of thinking, should not lead to anyone having any power over another as it tends to do in this 'reality' here and now. k.] Does it teach us that we are meant to be powerful, loving, fulfilled and free or dis-empowered and held prisoner within a belief system that no longer serves us well?

Does it teach that we are blessed multidimensional beings here to manifest Self Sovereignty or to be helpless and victimized by forces beyond our control? [including, but not limited to: gods, God, ascended masters, lightworkers, channeled info, archangels and The Universe. k]

This mainstream programming of the world's belief systems are a well organized plot ~ organized long ago ~ by those who hold control. The “average” American is far too busy, overburdened and/or distracted to take the time to explore the true foundation of core beliefs. Everything else seems “More Important”. But maybe, just maybe, its time for a restructuring of the strict core ideology and beliefs that have held us prisoner for way too long.

Discovering, comprehending, changing and healing the base belief program is the responsibility of every individual whose life is immersed within, and controlled by, these programs of belief. Every individual that can successfully make those conscious choices to change and to create a new structure of core beliefs will consciously alter the brain-washing programs that have held them prisoner for so very, very long.

It is up to each of us to expand our vision and allow ourselves to see beyond the barriers of control and manipulation.

There are awakened Spiritual Warriors and Lightworkers who hold the vision of freedom and brotherhood and they will create great changes within this world. They will help the people of this world to understand that the old concepts of Identity are no longer valid. We are all meant to grow and evolve out of the old core system of negative programing, and to restructure the core belief system of this entire world as we know it. [here's that concept again, that tells us we are not these spiritual warriors and 'lightworkers', that we have to look outside of ourselves for the vision and power... right here within a book written by someone who claims to be putting out pure teachings, free from control and manipulation programs... well. i enjoy reading Voyagers and studying Keylontics and Kathara Healing, but i usually have to stop and make sure i am not putting someone else in my driver's seat, so to speak... k]

It is time to free ourselves and learn to create brotherhood. It all starts with you and you and you and you. In the creation of a new pathway of higher thinking the old way of thinking and believing will be laid to rest. In the meantime, those that who are now embracing the path of enlightenment are those who are working towards the successful evolution of mankind. They are lighting the way for others to follow. [or showing that we can each find our own ways, that we are, each one of us, capable of doing this for ourselves! k.]

Will you choose procrastination and denial that a problem does exist within the core belief systems of mankind? Will you embrace change when it comes knocking at your doorway? Or will you run and hide under a blanket of denial? That choice is yours ~ and only yours to make ~

Ideas taken from "THE VOYAGERS" Volume 1 written by A'sha-yana Deane, azuritepress.com ~ words written and rearranged by Redfoxsees~

As I was reading this morning, the ideas in chapter 6 were too good to ignore:
A restructuring of belief system is eminent. Change can be painful or it can be embraced with joy, understanding and compassion. The hardest part about having knowledge is sharing that knowledge in a good and respectful way. Gaining and earning the wisdom of how to use that knowledge is a key to uncover.

Blessings Redfoxsees~

(redacted for publication on my sites by me, kimrey. my gratitude to redfoxsees, lightworker and starhenge for posting this) [with my own thoughts interjected :) ]

on ultimate personal power and freedom.

i watched a video today about "Oneness" - something about becoming One with all there is. i have held this belief for as long as i can recall, that we are all One and that Unity is the answer to our problems here on earth. but, yesterday i felt a different sensation. seeking to become One with The Universe, or with anyone else, seems dis-empowering to me now. the idea that we become One - that the Group is what i must aspire to become part of (on any level, 3D or Spirit) seems to go against my individual nature - human or Spirit - I AM ME!

i am not that person over there. sure, we are connected ultimately, or is that residue from an old belief system?? this is all new to me, an embryonic idea at this stage of my acceptance and understanding that perhaps this philosophy of unity and oneness, which is being presented through various channels and venues, is not in our best interest in the long run, in the big picture. the video, which i will post at the bottom of the page, is beautiful, lovely music, a great sentiment. absolutely - unity and love is a great sentiment. but i began to hear something underneath the pretty words and pictures. something slightly dark and entrapping... it's so subtle that most people won't see it. i do see it and i just had to say something.

is the idea that we have to become one with the group, and eventually lose our selves in an ultimate god really what we are here for??? that seems like socialism on a galactic/universal scale.

can i become One with you, in Unity and Love and still maintain my individuality?
or is this 'power stealing' at a Higher Level?

does this make me a bad cohabitant in this creation? i am willing to co-create, co-exist and cooperate, but only within a system that i CHOOSE to, not one that i feel coerced into by religion, new age light and love oneness thoughts, not by anyone or anything... and maybe, just maybe, i choose to not remain within any system at all!! how about that!?!?!

what if i dont' want to be a part of HARMONY and/or ONENESS as it is expressed in a socialist or communist society? or any system at all, for that matter.

i have changed my mind. i have decided NOT to be boxed into any system that creates limits for its inhabitants.

is Creation a Box?? is it held within ANYTHING?

neither am i. are you? is that what you choose to be?
you are certainly free to do so!! or not :)

this is the opportunity (i believe with all my heart) that awaits us in 2011 (according to calleman) or in 2012. or, in reality, the opportunity that awaits us in any moment of our choosing!

choose a system?? i think NOT!!

so, this leaves a question: what about life on earth?? i am seeking the answer to that question. we do need to create a new way of living here, together, but it will have to be something that has never been done before. what the creators of the constitution of the USA and the bill of rights had in mind, only this time, let's make sure it truly happens in a big and gloriously creative way... well. this blog wasn't written to answer that question, just to pose another ... do we need to give up self-sovereignty in order to create unity???

some are free to leave now. some choose to wait for 2012 - but allow it to be your own choice. and where you find yourself after this long awaited galactic event?? imagine well, imagine long, and imagine hard exactly where it is YOU would like to find yourself. because that is where you will.

happy imagining!!!

through the eyes of the dragon

i have two passions, Spirit and Earth. both require my attention, balance must be maintained.
for this reason, i have decided to add a second blog to my 'repertoire', a blog where i can post my frustrations, findings and feelings about these INSANE times we live in. Change is what it is all about; FREEDOM is what is at stake...

i didn't want to post political rantings here because i think that the solutions shouldn't be all jumbled in with the problems or they might get lost in the resultant chaos...

i hope that you join me, tell your friends ;) and together we can change the direction 'they' would take us in.

it's a reb-olushun. (that word has no spelling links ;) if you know what i mean.... damned i am para noid.

i am dancing with Dragon & Phoenix

join me at Hexagon 49

space ships and merkaba vehicles...

aargh... i hate it when i can't remember (and lost the post-it) where i borrowed certain pictures from!!
if you see your picture here (i am talking about the 'flower of death' cubes) please let me know who you are and i will give you proper credit... i am thinking it was the celtic rebel ... if i am wrong, please forgive me.

i had intended to actually put together a well thought out piece on this subject, instead i give up waiting for inspiration and have decided to just throw this out there in its embryonic form.

i keep hearing/seeing people promoting the merkaba vehicle as two pyramids in which we are to place ourselves in order to 'ascend' or to travel 'elsewhere' (space/time/dimension)



something seems fishy to me... lies mixed in with truths. it is my personal belief that this form of the merkaba vehicle is nothing more than a trap being perpetrated on the unsuspecting...
the metatronic cube is really nothing more than a miasm, promoted in the name of the 'archangel' metatron
behold his cube:
and the cube within the flower of life/DEATH:

i believe that the true merkaba would be spherical in shape:


with that said, i would also like to add my thought about 'spaceships'... really, would beings from higher dimensions honestly need to use ships??? i don't think so. and i don't believe that when/if we see a 'saviour' or 'aliens' landing (during the 2012 Olympics as stated by Rik Clay *rip*)? they will be anything more than a vast mind control hallucination...

i have created a new 'art form'

i call it Ultra-MaiKu (i may change that to MaiKu-Ultra in some future moment)
i realize that haiku is written in a 5-7-5 but there are no rules in mk-ultra world... except 'not to remember'
i googled Ultra-MaiKu to see if i had any competition in this field as yet and the only link that mentions it links to depeche mode - playing the angel. (what language is this??? estonian!!)
check it out for yourself, if you are so inclined :)
anyway, here's my first Ultra-MaiKu:

my beautiful body/mind
tenuously held
as one, by thousands of monarchs

deconstructing their reality

i surely do admire those of you who can spend time researching and then putting your words together so eloquently!! i have discovered that if i don't type up my thoughts right then and there and then get them posted (no draft folder for me) then they become yesterdays thoughts, a thing of the past, long forgotten and moved past.

on that note, i am on the brink of yet another paradigm shift in my own existence and as 'wise woman' has expressed, the sharing helps one begin to assimilate and process the information oneself.



(almost) straight from my diary, an embryo of a new way of thinking/being:
01.20.2009
913pm

so much to get written down -
so little mind to do it with.
too much mind fuque. 2 things happening. or maybe 3.
[ dealing BIG TIME with some nefarious doings within my brain, not of my own doing at all!!! but we do not mention them in public because of the irrational fears that are brought up when this kind of thinking gets deep. some things cannot be shared in the public arena. back to my diary...]
the realization that. what dammit!?!? - what realization!?!?!? this mind mess maze is BS. it is NOT my reality - it is theirs [interjection: i realize that i am responsible for creating my own life, that's not what this is about, denying responsibility and feeling like a victim are not what i am doing.] it is NOT MY REALITY - it is theirs. i am NOT one of them.

this reality is their construct - not mine. i have thought i was part of this but i can begin to disconnect from this reality, slowly, carefully -

i realize that i must be very careful of what i spend my time doing/reading/absorbing, of what i accept into my thoughts.
i feel insane and out of control because i am deconstructing what they created in my mind. it is not my creation, it is theirs and i am not one of them. i choose to create my own destiny.

i had thought i just had to unravel and reweave this tapestry i call my reality, my life, but i would only be reweaving it from the old 'string' - that's not my creation.

do i believe i create my own reality? what are the rules?
only one that i can see: first, do no harm.
so, what do i weave the tapestry of my New Reality with?
higher oscillating strings of light/sound... higher frequencies threads.

debt and lack (insert perceived problem here) is no longer my reality. that was a construct of their reality and i am NOT one of them.

i disconnect and deconstruct that which no longer serves me and that which was never truly mine to begin with.

pretending we create our reality...

i have decided to play make-believe. play along if you so desire...

i am a superhero.



a supercreatress!! everything i say, do, think, dream, comes to pass in our world.
this creates a situation where i have to become aware of my environment, what am i absorbing from it??

is what i am reading uplifting me?? is my focus on what i would like to see?
am i doing things that will bring me joy?

lately i feel that i have been absorbing way too much of what is wrong in our world.... i don't need to keep reading about what to be afraid of!! i must, as the ultimate creatress superwoman of planet earth, i must be vigilant in what i create!! it's entirely up to me, the fate of all humanity and the entire planet!!



this is a great responsibility, one that should take its place as the pinnacle of my existence.

what does this mean? what should i do? what actions should i take??






remaining at my Point of Original Creation is all i CAN do... it is all.



and, i can remember that LOVE is the force that holds all Creation together...

xoxoxox
~*kimrey*~

Fear not, wise one! You are not in danger.
There is a way to cross the ocean of life and death,
through which the saints have gained the other shore.
This way I will reveal to you.

The stupid man looks at his body and says, 'This is I'.
The more learned thinks, 'This is I' of his personality.
But the wise one knows the true Self, saying, 'I AM the Eternal'.
He is individual, though without separateness.
She who possesses Soul vision,
has dissolved the 'I' into Pure Conscious Beingness.

To those who are wandering in this desert world,
weary, oppressed and worn by sorrow,
may this teaching reveal the Eternal Oneness,
bringing joy, like an ocean of nectar near at hand.

(i am not sure where that came from or i would give credit where credit is due)

also, here is another article written by someone whom i admire, i hope you enjoy it and take from it what rings true to your own Spirit:


From Biology To Triology
Written by Sol Luckman

The evolution from human to divine consciousness involves healing duality and its legacy of karma and disease at the cellular and atomic levels. There is no illness that cannot be healed simply through intention. Many of the thousands of documented so-called miracle healings powerfully demonstrate the impact of consciousness on physical as well as emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing. Mind-body medicine, which is statistically valid enough to be taught in today's medical schools, offers additional proof of our ability to heal ourselves. Molecular biologist Bruce Lipton's research further indicates that people can modify their DNA and overcome life-threatening illnesses simply by changing their consciousness.

Deepak Chopra has remarked that "the similarity between a thought and a photon is very deep." A photon is a particle or quantum of light or other electromagnetic radiation. Dr. Chopra is implying a connection between thought and light. In many shamanic traditions, thought (intention) is considered a form or function of higher-dimensional light. Mind is "the illuminating energy which 'Lights the way' of an idea or form to be transmitted and received," once wrote Alice Bailey. "Upon a beam of light can the energy of the mind materialize." Following this line of reasoning, we can imagine ourselves not only as "frozen light" (to quote Dr. Richard Gerber) but also as "frozen thought."

This way of looking at the human body as a congealed thought, which may at first strike the reader as strange, is in the final analysis deeply empowering. Quantum physicists have repeatedly demonstrated that a scientist always affects the outcome of an experiment simply by observing it, a realization now universally accepted in the scientific community as the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Even more amazing is the paradigm-altering discovery that gives rise to the particle-wave duality: the probability that the physicist actually creates the quantum particles that he or she observes, since in unobserved states these particles appear to exist only as waves.

A fundamental and revolutionary truth emerges from this information: consciousness creates. As human beings imbued with free will, we can use the power of our consciousness to re-create our reality: including but not limited to a body, mind and spirit free of disease.

I stress "re-create" because, clearly, we already inhabit one creation. The world as we know it is based on the principle of duality. Another way of stating this is that a dualized or divided consciousness, one that already saw itself as separate from other consciousnesses, including unity or God consciousness, gave birth to the universe as humans often experience it: a battleground between good and evil, light and dark, right and wrong, "us" and "them."

But duality is not merely a philosophy; it is a physical state of being as well. The very atoms that make up our cells are based on positive and negative charges whose opposition sustains a certain life-form. Lipton has coined the phrase the "biology of consciousness" to summarize the transformational idea that living organisms, including humans, rather than being empirical givens, are actually malleable thought-forms. In other words, adopting a quantum physics perspective, we are basically waves that only cohere as particles through an act of consciousness. By changing our consciousness, we change our physical form and functioning.

Healing means to make whole. Healing leads to unification and implies atonement, which in this context really should be read as "at-one-ment." In a world where thought creates and biology is a product of consciousness, not the other way around, the mind has the power to forge a new biology, one no longer based on duality but on the principles of unity and harmony. In Return of the Bird Tribes, where a central theme is the reunion of the human body with the soul in the pivotal years we are currently experiencing, Ken Carey neatly summarizes how we must proceed, individually as well as collectively: "In the order of healing, it is human consciousness that first must change." Our challenge, which is also a tremendous opportunity, is to open up to a literally life-changing way of thinking ourselves into existence.

Enlightenment is about raising consciousness and letting the light of the soul in to the point that we become it. True enlightenment follows a path of conscious personal mastery that results in transformation and, by definition, involves the creation of a stable lightbody. The lightbody or soul body is a "trinitized" (balanced and harmonious) physical vehicle that has resolved duality, karma and disease at the cellular and atomic levels.

We can conceptualize the current evolutionary Shift occurring in our species' DNA as a change in "operating systems" from a binary to a "trinary" code based on the ener-genetics of the three-fold tetrahedron shape. We might even go so far as to say that humans are evolving out of biology into "triology." In this light it is most interesting that some in the alternative science community have alluded to suppressed research on a third DNA strand reportedly activating in many humans.

An illuminating way of visualizing how metamorphosis into a light-based physiology actually occurs is to look at a quantum particle known as positronium. Positronium is composed of an electron, which has a negative charge, and a positron, which has a positive charge. Positronium is a perfect example of duality. It also provides a wonderful illustration of how the lightbody is created. Since electrons and positrons are antiparticle opposites, after combining to form positronium, they immediately cancel out each other and decay into two particles or quanta of light (photons). A third stable and unified element, that is neither positive nor negative, is thus created from a preexisting dualism.

Barbara Hand Clow has written that this process of combination and decay in the positronium atom, mirrored in lightbody activation, "resolves inherent duality into light … [As] the electron is the basic unit of activation—life—it triggers the transmutation of the positron—karma." Contrary to popular misconception, karma has nothing to do with punishment and reward. It exists as part of our holographic universe's binary or dualistic operating system only to teach us responsibility for our creations—and all things we experience are our creations. When these creations are out of tune with Source, they often manifest in the disharmony known as disease. This can occur not only in individuals but in entire civilizations. In both cases, disease, which is typically considered a crisis, simultaneously serves as a powerful stimulus for transformation and transcendence.

As we raise our consciousness and activate our lightbody, we realize that we are our own creators made, or making ourselves, in the image and similitude of the one Creator. Indeed, since in a hologram the part contains the whole, we are the one Creator. By learning this truly transformative lesson, we return to unity consciousness while mastering physicality. In other words, we achieve god-realization as the light of soul descends into a divine or soul body healed of duality and freed from the instructional cycle of karma.

Copyright 2005 Sol Luckman. All Rights Reserved.

Sol Luckman is managing editor of DNA Monthly and co-founder of the Phoenix Center for Regenetics--, offering cutting-edge educational services and materials designed to activate unity consciousness and actualize human potential. The developers of Regenetics-- are educators and ordained ministers, not medical doctors, and do not pretend to diagnose or treat illness. The preceding article is excerpted from a forthcoming book entitled Conscious Healing with the Regenetics-- Method. For information visit http://www.phoenixregenetics.org or call (828)216-3982.

winter solstice 2009

greetings on this 22nd day of december!! yesterday i spent the day pondering my past year and looking forward to making changes in 2009. one of the ways i celebrated the change of season was by out-of-body traveling to newgrange :) it was quite spectacular!! there is nothing quite like being part of such an ancient rite...

SOLSTICE WEBCAST: Today is the northern winter solstice. When the solstice sun came up this morning over Ireland, a shaft of sunlight traveled down an 18 meter tunnel to illuminate the inner chamber of Newgrange, a massive prehistoric burial mound in County Meath. It looked like this:

Newgrange is 5000 years old, predating the better-known Stonehenge in the neighboring island of Great Britain by more than a thousand years. This makes it one of the oldest megalithic monuments in the world with a known astronomical function. Curators of Newgrange webcast this morning's event; you can watch it here.

There is a similar burial mound from the same era in Orkney: Like Newgrange, Maeshowe is also aligned with the solstice sun. As the midwinter sun slips below the horizon, its last rays shine directly through Maeshowe's entrance passage to illuminate the rear wall of the central chamber. Live images from Maeshowe may be found here.

this morning, i visited spaceweather.com and found this amazing photo/video!! it was of particular interest since during my morning meditation/grounding ceremony, i was visited by Owl, who stops in once in awhile to encourage me when i am traversing a dark night of the soul (which i seem to be doing now)... anyway, i thought this was cool and thought i would share it with you :)

MIDNIGHT VISITATION: In a remote area of New Mexico, amateur astronomer Thomas Ashcraft operates an all-sky camera for nightly monitoring of meteors and fireballs. "The other night I caught a big one," he says. Click on the image to play the movie:

"An owl descended from the sky and landed on the clear dome of my fireball camera," explains Ashcraft. "It stayed for a few minutes and then flew away." This visitor was probably a Western Screech-Owl or a Great Horned Owl, two varieties common to New Mexico. Ornithologists may be able to pinpoint the species; the owl glances down during the video for a revealing self-portrait.

Take a deep breath and let the spirit of the owl fill you.

The owl brings you wisdom as well as great powers of perception and intuition. Welcome her into your heart and life gladly!

The owl has very keen hearing and vision, enabling her to perceive what others cannot. With her powers within you, you will be able to penetrate the darkness with your intuitive senses. You will see through deception and illusion. You will uncover all mysteries and bring truth to light. Fill yourself with her power whenever the truth is unclear or hidden; she will shine the light so you may see.

The owl also allows you to move silently and unseen. When you do not want undue attention paid to you, when you wish to just quietly keep your own counsel, call in her spirit as you would an invisibility cloak.

One of the greatest powers the owl brings you is to penetrate your own secrets, to see into the beauty of your own soul and uncover there your personal truth and intentions. Feel her within you now, opening yourself to yourself, your true purpose sparkling like a treasure within.

Ah, what a blessing to be the owl!


enjoy this 22nd day of 12/2008 (an 8 kind of day :)

love & blessings,
~*kimrey*~ @ .0

a terrence mckenna video.... enjoy

whew!! this came at a good time for me :)
i've been playing at being persephone for days now... lots to say but too afraid, or unable, to say a word. sometimes i forget to ground and center and remember just who i am. who we all really are...

the most important thing for us to do right now is to remember who we are ;)

the truth is out there... i just haven't found it all yet :)